celebrating billy

billybook

 

One year ago today I said goodbye to my furry baby + soulmate. While there will always be sadness in my heart on this day (and always)…there is also great joy. We were together for thirteen years–he will forever be one of my life’s greatest gifts. His love changed me. He made me a mommy, long before having (human) children. Today will be a day of celebration. We are reminsicing with the help of this beautiful photo book, and taking a trunk load of supplies to our local ASPCA in his honor. I intend to continue to share his light + love with the world…today, and always. He was a truly beautiful soul.

remembering billy

remembering-billy

“When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth…

you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”

Kahlil Gibran

 

Exactly one month has passed since I lost my furry soulmate. It is very surreal…I feel as if I will still be processing his death for some time. I see him everywhere-at the foot of the bed, at the bottom of the stairs, in his poof, in the stroller with the kids…always by my side. For twelve years, he was my constant companion, my heart. That part of my heart went with him…and so I mourn the void. I am sorrowful for the days that were taken from us, yet forever grateful for the days that we were given. Each and every one was a gift. It was him that, at the age of twenty-three, made me a mommy. He saw me through very difficult times in my life, providing great comfort and unconditional love, always. I secretly always hoped he would be with me until I had children- the grief would be so much heavier without Marie + Henry’s laughter and youthful innocence. They miss him – even at such a young age they know…I’m so very thankful they knew and loved him. The quote above gives me strength, as it is so very true. He was my delight, our delight, and will never be forgotten.

goodbye billy

goodbyebilly

 

Just writing the post title hurts, and I’m still in shock. Last night I said goodbye to one of the greatest loves of my life-my furry baby, Billy. After struggling with chronic illness for his entire life (13 years), he told us it was time. Selfishly, I did not want to respect his wishes…but knew it was the right thing to do. He left this world peacefully, in my arms, in a room filled with those who love him most. As heavy as the grief is right now, I’m trying to focus on the beautiful moments and memories…they are abundant (and I intend to share those soon). He lived a love-filled life, and brought joy to all who knew him (and even those who didn’t). Billy was such a gift-to this world, to me, to us…his light + love will never be extinguished. I am forever grateful for his constant companionship and unconditional love. He will be with me always.

golden years

billy

 

It’s been too long since I’ve written about Billy, and I’m feeling guilt. He has been my constant companion for 10 years now, and he is having to share his golden years with two toddlers and a very busy mommy + daddy.  Lately, the days are hectic-he does his best to keep up with the craziness in the house, but at times it’s just too much for him to handle. At almost thirteen years of age, he prefers the quiet life…and as you can imagine there isn’t much of that in our household at the moment. The children are very demanding of my time, and he so sweetly accepts and allows for that. After his brother and sister go to bed, he knows it is OUR time. Just like the old days…just us. I’m doing my best to be conscious of his experience each day, and to be a support for him when he needs it, as he has done for me throughout the years.

marie + billy

marieandbilly

marieandbillyboy

Watching the friendship form between Billy and the kids is very special. Marie is especially smitten, and very gently reaches for him and touches him. Billy is so patient-there have only been a few moments of hair pulling luckily, as she started learning the word “gentle” from a very early age! Whenever she sees him she smiles and laughs, and has started saying “ba, ba” trying to verbally work out his name. They know him as Billy and brother…we really only use the word dog for other animals, but I suspect they may end up calling all dogs Billy (which would be adorable). She now will lean in to kiss him, or lay her head on his back-it melts me. Did you have a special relationship with an animal as a child?