I'm Susan — devout Francophile, mother of twins, writer, creative director, and aspiring author. I've been sharing my life here since 2010...thanks for reading!
Marie + Henry are TEN months old today! So this video should thoroughly confuse you as it commemorates their ninth month…what can I say-mother of twins. I’m feeling a bit of shock that they are ten months old already, and one year is right around the corner. I had an emotional mother’s day and smothered them with kisses. It was a gorgeous day, much like the one in this video. Hope you enjoy!
A
As my first mother’s day approaches, I realize I have yet to share my thoughts on being a twin mom. This post is long overdue-it’s taken me nine months (oh the irony) to get my thoughts together on the subject (and they’re still not entirely together, not sure they ever will be). Discovering you are going to be a mother of two (at once) is an amazing, surreal and overwhelming experience. Becoming a mother is already such a major life-changing event, and adding multiples to the scenario grows it exponentially. My first reaction to our shock of a lifetime news (at 6 weeks of pregnancy) was ridiculously emotional-I instantly began crying and laughing simultaneously, and mr. fleurishing started crying and cursing! I wish we had it on video, because it was so hysterical…and so pure.
Being the anxious type A that I am, my mind immediately jumped to the all of the unknowns and “what-if’s” of twin pregnancy: can I/we handle this, is my body physically capable of this, will the nursery be big enough, can we afford this-the list goes on. My mind took off at a million miles a minute, and I got lost in google for weeks. I was excited, but at that point, mostly terrified, and found myself mourning the idea of pregnancy and motherhood that I had envisioned. One baby to birth, buy a crib for, to name, to bond with…ONE. Accepting the reality of twins was a long process, and it wasn’t until I heard them both cry that I allowed myself to fully believe it. It wasn’t until the 3 month mark that I could catch my breath, and start to enjoy being the mother of twins. To marvel at the miracle of them, and get enough sleep to stay conscious enough to do so! It was then that I realized how truly lucky we were (and are) to have this experience. That we were destined for this, and that the pros far outweigh the cons.
I’ll start with the cons. The pregnancy is very difficult, and often times, frightening (I had it easy compared to many). Once they arrive, you have to choose-choose a child to help, to console, to feed. It feels awful, and goes against every instinct as a mother. Having twins is expensive…no, you don’t need two of everything, but close. It takes longer to get to know each child, to bond with them individually. Finding time for yourself and for your marriage is difficult. While having children can stress any relationship, twins divide your attention and time by two. Twins certainly put you to the test, in every kind of way (especially when they start scheming as a team, oh boy).
I could go on forever about the pros. You only have to be pregnant once for two babies-DONE! Double the cuddles, double the giggles, double the love. Henry and Marie are already best friends, and having a built-in playmate is wonderful for them and us, as they essentially start learning social skills and sharing in the womb! As parents, we never want for baby time, and in the case of boy/girl twins like ours, we get to see mars/venus exemplified before our eyes, which honestly adds an entirely new level of understanding on the subject. The efficiency is fabulous-we put away items as they outgrow them, teach them things at the same time, experience developmental milestones (mostly) simultaneously, etc…with them being the same age, it allows us single-mindedness when parenting. (I have great respect for my friends juggling a baby and a toddler!) Other parents (moms especially) tend to put you on a pedestal, which is both a good and bad thing. But having evenly beefed up mommy arms is super cool.
I’ve been told by some that I make it look easy (thank you)…but as you know, what you see here on the blog is usually not the nitty gritty of everyday life. We are still adapting to our new life, and adjusting to parenting twins…obviously we still have a world of learning to do. We get stopped by curious people often, and many say we have a “rich man’s family”….we are certainly rich in love. There are so many times when I look at them in complete awe, and wonder how I got so lucky. It is an honor and a privilege to be their mother and I cannot wait for all that is to come!
wishing my fellow moms (of humans + fur babies) the happiest mother’s day
See that woman up there? I miss her. If we met before 2011, she looks familiar. If we met anytime after that (which is most everyone in philly), you don’t know her. Over the course of 3 years, I have gained 60 pounds. Medications, health issues, twin pregnancy, and just plain laziness have all contributed to my weight. It’s time for a change, and I’ve already started taking giant steps toward my goal of losing it all. I’m making a public declaration that I am ready to get my body back, but more importantly-be healthier and more self confident. I’m tired of hiding from the camera, and staring at a closet of clothes that no longer fit. As I grow more comfortable in my new life, I find myself yearning to nourish and discover my true self more than ever before. As a woman, as a wife, as a mother…it is imperative. Have you ever lost your way, physically or emotionally? If so, what was it that empowered you to change?
So…this happened a few days ago and I nearly died. Seriously guys-mommy can’t handle these types of love declarations from you two. They recently decided (at nine months of age) that they are best friends for life, and watching this relationship blossom is the most amazing gift. Witnessing the special bond between twins firsthand is incredible. We ventured to the park this weekend to have some fun in the sun and create their nine month video, so stay tuned for that. Have you seen the others?
I’m delighted to feature my bloggy friend Tristan (aka Miss B) who is a mighty talented lady. She is the creative mind behind the beautiful Besotted Brand and the equally swoon-worthy companion blog. Her photography and love of animals first caught my eye years ago…between her adorable frenchie and dreamy imagery I can get lost for hours. I’m continually inspired by her thirst for knowledge, business savvy, and passionate approach to life. I find her Proust answers quite fascinating + fun-I certainly share her idea of misery. Head over to her site and also find her on twitter…merci Tristan!
Your favourite motto.
La vida es bella. Life is beautiful in Spanish…I love to say it and I love it’s simplicity + truth.
If not yourself, who would you be?
Jane Goodall has always endlessly fascinated me, but so has Truman Capote, such opposite sides of the spectrum but I think they both would be delightful.
Your favourite colour and flower.
I love white. For scent I adore night blooming jasmine + lemon blossom and for looks a tie between peony and David Austin roses (which look like organic peonies)!
Your idea of happiness.
Being in love with your life.
Your idea of misery.
Humidity.
Your chief characteristic.
I’d like to think it is my keen wit.
Where would you like to live?
I would love to live in one of those beautiful old libraries. I love books, I love to learn and of course the character and charm of a beautiful library is swoon worthy.
Your favourite food & drink.
Butter. Is that considered a food? If not, crusty bread. For drink I am currently addicted to Italian sparkling water.
Your favourite qualities in friends.
I love thoughtfulness. I think thoughtful people are more considerate and well-mannered and definitely more appreciative. I love thoughtfulness in a friend, I love it in any individual!
What is your present state of mind?
At this moment I am in complete and utter awe.
**the proust q & a is a regular feature..check out the archives here**