living in limbo

moioncarousel

 

Living in limbo feels a bit like a carousel ride…going in circles while also navigating ups and downs. Like most people, I enjoy carousels, but let’s face it – it’s mostly about going around and round until the music stops and the lights dim. It’s been quite the ride since we chose to sell our house and set out on a new adventure. While we made the decision to forge a new path, that path has yet to present itself, and I’m growing increasingly impatient and frustrated.  It’s been a year or more now that we, as a family, have found ourselves unsure of our direction. As someone that yearns for control over much in life (as ridiculous as that can be), I’ve had the hardest time with all of it. Limbo has become a place of unfulfillment, sadness, frustration, isolation and general “meh”-ness for me. It’s been a struggle to live with this mentality – it’s not healthy. While I’m not fully sure of how to overcome this mental state, I’m determined to do so.

I know that by trying so hard to maintain “control” of our lives, we can miss out on amazing things. Just because we hope for certain things to happen, doesn’t mean they’re meant to be. I’ve been looking to my children a lot, acknowledging and appreciating all that they can teach me. They begin each day with such an innocence and excitement, not tainted by what lies behind or ahead of them, and blissfully unaware of any situation or stress. They are engaged, focused, and deliriously happy. They’re enjoying the ride, because we’re on it together–when or where it stops is irrelevant. So for now, I’m going to do my best to embrace this time in our lives. I’ve gotten off the horse and am going to try the swan seat for a while. After all, I’m sharing the ride with the people I love the most in this world, and they’re keeping me from jumping off.

Notes

  1. Yup, you’ve figured it out…enjoy the ride. Someday you will look back on this time in your life with great appreciation. That you lived with less and had time with the littles and knew that the future would bring e n o u g h.

    • thank you Cynthia…doing my best to enjoy the ride and focus on the positives (there are many)…it’s the not knowing that is the hardest!

  2. Im not sure why you are in limbo, but from experience (last year) I too was in a state of limbo, waiting on the status of a big job and it came through. Just know, careful what you ask for, you just may get it, but it may not be how you imagined it, I know. Don’t put your life on pause, you won’t get that time back with your family and children, nor they with you. Wishing you the best, just know you have no control over the decisions of others and definitely no control over fate. <3 <3

    • we’re in limbo for quite a few reasons Elizabeth, and I have to be a little vague for privacy reasons…but thank you for your concern + thoughts. doing my best to not feel like life is “paused”…my children are a great reminder of that. ;)

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