“Learn to deal with the valleys and the hills will take care of themselves.”
Count Basie
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This is not a post about failure. This is a post about adversity, strength, and love. It may take me a moment to get there, so please bear with me. Lately, I’ve been feeling as if the universe has a vendetta against me…and by lately, I mean the past three years. I won’t bore you with the laundry list of unfortunate events…there are more than I care to recall. Besides my recent (and ongoing) health scare, there’s been a domino effect of troubles that all seem to stem from one big (past) mistake. Perhaps you remember my paper + plans post – at the time we had lofty dreams and exciting opportunities. Sadly, none of those scenarios have played out. Since then, it’s been one thing after another coming our way. Quite honestly, I’m exhausted. Tired of being stressed, tired of living in limbo (both literally + figuratively), tired of fighting to see silver linings. In speaking with my dad the other day, I made the analogy of a boxing match. I/we keep getting knocked down…we get back up, only to get hit again, and harder. A few weeks ago, the referee got to nine (so to speak).
Please know that I’m not saying that for dramatic effect – it was a traumatic event that could have been the end of our life as we know it. I can’t share details and I apologize for being vague, but I can say that the residue of that particular incident will remain for some time. I’ve dealt with a lot of adversity in my life, and I’m thankful for that because I’ve learned my strength. Everyone gets knocked down at some point–life is a series of peaks and valleys. It’s when you’re down that you find out what you’re truly made of. Who are you when things are at their worst? My husband sweetly reminded me that “pressure makes diamonds”, and I had an epiphany–we’re already diamonds, and we shine brightest in the dark. I/we got up…we’re standing, TOGETHER, and that’s what matters. We’re digging deep, with the intention of getting to (and repairing) the core of the issue, so that when we get to the hill (and we will), we’re ready for it. Some diamonds only surface after a volcanic eruption…and I’m a fucking diamond. So are you. The only way out is through…keep pushing.
(insert strong, “don’t mess with me” inspirational end music here)
Aw Suzi, so well said. Keep shining bright like the diamond you are! I saw a quote about this- the strength of diamonds- just today. And, I was thinking about you pretty intensely today, remembering our good times and wondering how you are doing, so I know I was meant to read this right now. I also feel like lately I’m really trying to roll with the punches, but just keep getting punched. I guess I’m a diamond in the making too. You are leading a beautiful life; I’m so sorry it’s hard right now..Love you and hope there are miracles right around the corner! ✨💛✨
thank you so much Gina, and I’m sorry you’re getting knocked down too…at least we know we’re not alone. there is so much to be thankful for, and beauty in our lives…and while that’s where I try to focus, it’s also okay (and healthy) to give ourselves permission to feel the sadness and frustration too. sending love back and hoping there are hills ahead for us both! xo
Beautifully written Susan, and I’m so sorry you and your family are going through a difficult chapter…I can relate! Sometimes it feels as if it will never end, but then suddenly the sun comes out. Thinking of you all and hoping the sun shines on you soon.
absolutely, at times it feels suffocating – but I know at some point we’ll be able to breathe easier. thank you for the love + support Anne!